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Jay Spencer Green

~ Novelist and Ne'er-Do-Well

Jay Spencer Green

Monthly Archives: February 2016

Arse Longa, Tempora Mores

26 Friday Feb 2016

Posted by jayspencergreen in Uncategorized

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knuckledusterLooking for my knuckleduster

Bucket List: I have so much left to do!!! You would be surprised at the responses! Copy and paste to your status, then place an X by all the things you’ve done and an O by those you haven’t. Please share!

O Act as Santa (or equivalent) at a children’s Christmas party
X Take part in a marathon for charity
O Act as best man/maid of honor at a friend’s wedding
O Teach a child to read
O Serve as a carer for a terminally ill patient
X Have your heart broken
O Rescue and care for a stray animal
O Wade naked into the Mediterranean
X Get drunk with your father
X Have your face slapped
X Take up smoking
X Give up smoking
X Write a novel and dedicate it to your parents
O Tell a best friend your deepest, darkest secrets
O Catch, gut, cook, and eat a fish
O Make a record and publicize it, whether you can sing or not
X Go on a pilgrimage, on foot, to a shrine of your choosing
X BASE jump from a building less than 50 feet high
O Propose to someone you have no intention of marrying
O Heckle a town crier
X Swim with the Miami Dolphins
X Have sex in exchange for money
X Do a runner from an ice-cream van
X Deface, disfigure, or burn a work of religious art
O Get deported from the Isle of Man
X Drink your own urine while sober
X Take part in an illegal fight against a pit bull
O Disclose a best friend’s deepest, darkest secrets on national TV
X Defecate on stage and dedicate it to your parents
O Drive a Hummer blindfold through a pedestrian precinct
X Punch a child
X Experience a hardcore sexual encounter with a member of the same sex
X Take part in an armed robbery
X Drop acid and crucify a chimpanzee
X Spit on the Pyramids
X Shoplift in a Charity Shop
O Win “Crackpipe Smoker of the Year”
X Gatecrash a funeral while stoned
O Get your cat pierced
O Jilt a princess
X Get thrown off a plane for masturbating in the toilets
X Skip bail
O Knock Boris Johnson off his bike
X Have a gold tooth fitted but not in your mouth
X Organize a cockfight in a primary school playground
O Annex the Sudetenland
X Cheat Death at Ker-Plunk
X Taste Human Flesh
X Pityfuck a Spice Girl
X Kill another human being with your bare hands

Someone call Cointreau!

16 Tuesday Feb 2016

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Tags

Blindfolds, Breakfast at Cannibal Joe's, Condoms, Humor, Stimulating gel, Tie-ins, Vibrating bullet

SAMSUNGSpotted in a pharmacy in Corralejo: Fifty Shades of Grey condoms, his & hers blindfolds, stimulating feminine gel and vibrating bullet. I wonder what product tie-ins I could get for Breakfast at Cannibal Joe’s.

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Novelist and Ne'er-do-well. Dry English wit a specialty.

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