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Jay Spencer Green

~ Novelist and Ne'er-Do-Well

Jay Spencer Green

Tag Archives: Marketing

Plucking Awesome!

16 Monday Apr 2018

Posted by jayspencergreen in Books, Fowl Play, Merchandise

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Books, Fowl Play, Humor, Marketing

publicitypicfowlplayA thing of beauty is a joy forever. A Jay Spencer Green novel, by contrast, will haunt your dreams like an abusive waiter.

Fowl Play now available in paperback!! Strategically priced on Amazon at a tenner so that you don’t have to pay for post and packaging. Discover for yourself why it’s been favourably compared to The Bible*, James Joyce’s Ulysses**, Slaughterhouse Five***, Pride and Prejudice****, and Orgasms for Beginners*****.

YouBeaute!Full frontal. This photo has not been enhanced in any way. The book is genuinely this gorgeous.

Available at Amazon UK, USA, Germany, France, Spain, Italy and possibly more.

Get yours now!

 

 

*Marginally less nudity (The Watchtower)

**Set in Manchester (Timperley Village Anarchist)

***Many scenes depict a fully operational slaughterhouse (Vonnegut’s book was very disappointing in this respect) (Butchering Today magazine)

****More shower scenes (My uncle Dave)

*****No distracting photographs of pubic hair (Also my uncle Dave)

 

Merch!

21 Wednesday Jun 2017

Posted by jayspencergreen in Books, Humor, Merchandise, Shirts

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Books, Humor, Marketing, Merchandise, Shirts

Since its recent appearance on Instagram, my Breakfast at Cannibal Joe’s t-shirt has drawn considerable unsolicited attention (and a few sarcastic comments), with a number of individuals approaching me for details of the vendor. Now, they, and possibly even you, will be happy to learn that I have negotiated a deal with the supplier, Canvas Kings, to provide t-shirts featuring not just the award-winning Jon Langford design of the aforementioned tome (as featured in The Bookseller) but also my second novel, Ivy Feckett is Looking for Love, for the knock-down price of €20, including post and packaging. This would be an ideal purchase for the Jon Langford fan in your life or for anyone who has never even heard of me, which potentially covers entire continents.

distance

Raymond Weil watch: €1,000, Weirs of Dublin; Skechers Flex Advantage shoes: €70, Avenida Gran Via, Barcelona; Pierre Cardin socks, €5, TK Maxx, Drogheda; Jon Langford award-winning Breakfast at Cannibal Joe’s design T-shirt: Canvas Kings, €20 inc. p&p.; Blue Harbour cotton shorts, £4.99, Cancer Research, Altrincham; 100% UVB protection sunglasses, £1, Oxfam, Enniskillen; Leg hairs, author’s own.

Joesshirt

As worn by an author.

Shirts are available in a range of colours and all sizes. Payment can be made via PayPal or credit card. Contact Canvas Kings via their email, thecanvaskings@hotmail.com, via their website, or via their Facebook page, specifying the desired t-shirt size, colour, and book cover.

Ivydistance

Avoid leaving fingerprints when burying bodies. Ensure anonymity by wearing the uniform of the moment. Do not, at any point, make eye contact.

Ivyshirtclose

They’ll be so awestruck by your amazing shirt that they won’t even notice the blood on the shovel.

Anyone willing to send in a photo of themselves wearing either of the above shirts, in public or in the privacy of their own home, will automatically receive a free eBook edition of my next novel, Fowl Play: A Book of Perversions, due out later this year, with yet another fab Langford cover. Do you dare?!

Tourne, Tourne Again

12 Monday Oct 2015

Posted by jayspencergreen in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Marketing, Paris 68, Satire

underthebeachBabybels are those who struggle

Advertising agency Whittington, Burgher + Leveque was founded by three soixante-huitards in 1974, in the aftermath of the failure of the European social revolution. Disappointed by the turn of history, the company’s founders nevertheless put their experiences to good use, courting controversy (and in the process getting great publicity!) by taking the Situationist slogans of the late 60s and using them, much as Malcolm McLaren did, to sell commodities to the public. The agency is now one of the largest in the world, with an annual turnover of €345 million. Some of their best-known and most successful ad campaigns will be oddly familiar to connoisseurs of the revolutionary left:

Be Realistic! Demand the Mission Impossible Soundtrack.
(Warner Bros.)

Viagra: Take Your Desires for Reality.
(Pfizer)

The Boss Needs You, You Don’t Need Him.
Bruce Springsteen on tour this autumn.
(Ticketmaster UK)

How Can One Drink Freely in the Shadow of a Chapel? Why, Buckfast, of course!
(J. Chandler & Co.)

The Prospect of Finding Pleasure Tomorrow Will Never Compensate for Today’s Boredom.
(RTE Guide)

Never Work!
Buckingham Palace, open 1–5 p.m., Wed–Fri.
(House of Windsor Inc.)

In a Society That Has Abolished All Adventures, the Only Adventure Left Is to Abolish Luxury.
(EasyJet)

Read Less, Live More!
Your Super Soaraway Sun, Now Just 40p!
(News International)

The Liberation of Humanity Will Be Total or It Will Be Not at All.
(Total S.A. Petroleum)

I Find My Orgasms Among the Paving Stones. Dispose of Your Condoms Responsibly.
(Durex Condoms)

All That is Sacred: There is the NME.
(IPC Media)

It is Forbidden to Forbid: Just Do It!
(Nike)

Neither God nor Master!
(Church of England plc)

A Cop Sleeps in Every One of Us: Keep It That Way with Night Nurse.
(GlaxoSmithKline Beecham)

Let’s Be Cruel!
(Fendi)

Poetry is in the Street: Smoke Pall Mall.
(R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Co.)

Arise, You Wretched of the University! Supermarket Sweep is Back!
(Carlton TV)

The Bourgeoisie Has No Other Pleasure But to Biodegrade All Pleasures. What’s Your Carbon Footprint?
(Defra)

Under the Pavement, the Métro!
(RATP)

Live Without Dead Time: New Sky Plus Digital.
(News International)

McAlpine Construction: Because the Hacienda Must Be Built.
(McAlpine Construction)

Club 18–30: Cheap Holidays in Other People’s Misery.
(Thomas Cook)

Run, Comrade! The Old World is Behind You!
(Reebok)

It’s Painful to Suffer the Bosses. It’s Even Stupider to Pick Them.
The Apprentice, weeknights on BBC 1.
(talkback Thames Productions)

All Power to the Imagination!
(Nintendo)

And of course

People Who Talk About Revolution and Class Struggle Without Referring Explicitly to Everyday Life, Without Understanding What is Subversive About Love and What is Positive in the Refusal of Constraints, Such People Have Coco Pops in Their Mouth.
(Kellogg’s)

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Novelist and Ne'er-do-well. Dry English wit a specialty.

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