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Jay Spencer Green

~ Novelist and Ne'er-Do-Well

Jay Spencer Green

Tag Archives: Books

Plucking Awesome!

16 Monday Apr 2018

Posted by jayspencergreen in Books, Fowl Play, Merchandise

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Books, Fowl Play, Humor, Marketing

publicitypicfowlplayA thing of beauty is a joy forever. A Jay Spencer Green novel, by contrast, will haunt your dreams like an abusive waiter.

Fowl Play now available in paperback!! Strategically priced on Amazon at a tenner so that you don’t have to pay for post and packaging. Discover for yourself why it’s been favourably compared to The Bible*, James Joyce’s Ulysses**, Slaughterhouse Five***, Pride and Prejudice****, and Orgasms for Beginners*****.

YouBeaute!Full frontal. This photo has not been enhanced in any way. The book is genuinely this gorgeous.

Available at Amazon UK, USA, Germany, France, Spain, Italy and possibly more.

Get yours now!

 

 

*Marginally less nudity (The Watchtower)

**Set in Manchester (Timperley Village Anarchist)

***Many scenes depict a fully operational slaughterhouse (Vonnegut’s book was very disappointing in this respect) (Butchering Today magazine)

****More shower scenes (My uncle Dave)

*****No distracting photographs of pubic hair (Also my uncle Dave)

 

Chicks Away!

10 Saturday Feb 2018

Posted by jayspencergreen in Books, Fowl Play, Humor, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Amazon, Books, Ebook, Humor, International, Literature

Fowl Play now available in Kindle format from Amazon UK, US, Canada, France, Italy, Germany, Spain, Japan, Brazil, India, etc., etc.

ePuB edition already available at a range of online stores.

Fill your blood-soaked boots!

Fowl Play cover sm_revised

Beat the Flock!

31 Wednesday Jan 2018

Posted by jayspencergreen in Books, Fowl Play, Humor

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Amazon, Books, Ebook, Fiction, Fowl Play

ePuB edition of Fowl Play out now via Draft2Digital and Playster.

Kindle edition set for release on February 10 (all stores). Paperback due out in the spring.

FowlPlayStretch

A Poultry Affair

15 Friday Sep 2017

Posted by jayspencergreen in Books, Humor

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Book Cover, Books, Fowl Play, Humor

BrandnewFowlPlay
Just to keep your pecker up, here’s a preview of the cover for my third novel, Fowl Play, winging its way in your direction sometime soon. Yet another fantastic design from the brilliant, beautiful, and beneficent Jon Langford, who never ceases to amaze. Here’s the blurb for those of you who don’t want to squint:

Ladies’ man Josiah Joshua Jordan King is a rising star for the Trafford Titans in the new and wildly popular sport of Chicker. But he’s also a professional hitman and union-buster for the league’s management.

With the European final looming against Barcelona, Jo gets wind of a filthy commie plot to scupper the whole shebang. Can he lead his team to victory while neutralizing the filthy Reds, or will his dreams of international glory be thwarted by a dastardly conspiracy that threatens civilization itself?

A mutant hybrid of Rollerball, The Wicker Man, and Chicken Run, Fowl Play is satirist Jay Spencer Green at his weirdest and most outlandish, a laugh-out-loud dark comedy in which the headless chickens are not confined to the farmyard.

Merch!

21 Wednesday Jun 2017

Posted by jayspencergreen in Books, Humor, Merchandise, Shirts

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Books, Humor, Marketing, Merchandise, Shirts

Since its recent appearance on Instagram, my Breakfast at Cannibal Joe’s t-shirt has drawn considerable unsolicited attention (and a few sarcastic comments), with a number of individuals approaching me for details of the vendor. Now, they, and possibly even you, will be happy to learn that I have negotiated a deal with the supplier, Canvas Kings, to provide t-shirts featuring not just the award-winning Jon Langford design of the aforementioned tome (as featured in The Bookseller) but also my second novel, Ivy Feckett is Looking for Love, for the knock-down price of €20, including post and packaging. This would be an ideal purchase for the Jon Langford fan in your life or for anyone who has never even heard of me, which potentially covers entire continents.

distance

Raymond Weil watch: €1,000, Weirs of Dublin; Skechers Flex Advantage shoes: €70, Avenida Gran Via, Barcelona; Pierre Cardin socks, €5, TK Maxx, Drogheda; Jon Langford award-winning Breakfast at Cannibal Joe’s design T-shirt: Canvas Kings, €20 inc. p&p.; Blue Harbour cotton shorts, £4.99, Cancer Research, Altrincham; 100% UVB protection sunglasses, £1, Oxfam, Enniskillen; Leg hairs, author’s own.

Joesshirt

As worn by an author.

Shirts are available in a range of colours and all sizes. Payment can be made via PayPal or credit card. Contact Canvas Kings via their email, thecanvaskings@hotmail.com, via their website, or via their Facebook page, specifying the desired t-shirt size, colour, and book cover.

Ivydistance

Avoid leaving fingerprints when burying bodies. Ensure anonymity by wearing the uniform of the moment. Do not, at any point, make eye contact.

Ivyshirtclose

They’ll be so awestruck by your amazing shirt that they won’t even notice the blood on the shovel.

Anyone willing to send in a photo of themselves wearing either of the above shirts, in public or in the privacy of their own home, will automatically receive a free eBook edition of my next novel, Fowl Play: A Book of Perversions, due out later this year, with yet another fab Langford cover. Do you dare?!

Out, Damn’d Draft, Out!

24 Wednesday May 2017

Posted by jayspencergreen in Books, Humor

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Books, Fiction, Fowl Play, Humor, Literature, Satire

draftGahhhhhhh!!!!!!

I’m a huge fan of the Big Bang Theory but even after watching every episode I’m fairly sure there’s no loop quantum gravity, supersymmetry, or string theory explanation for why it is that the editing of the penultimate draft of a novel should take longer than the initial writing of it. Time simultaneously contracts and expands, dilates and condenses, the arduousness of the original creation being replaced by a dulling of the senses caused by repetition and familiarity, the spontaneous eruption of a forgotten joke encountered afresh distended into an asymptotic moan of diminishing returns each time it is reread and effort is made to improve on or sharpen it. The self-confidence that overtook any initial hesitation and thereby resulted in the completion of a work to be edited gives way in the review to an orgy of “What the hell was I thinking?” doubt, a form of self-abuse manifested by crossings-out, screeds in the margins, and long, languid waves of ink across full pages where not a word can be salvaged, waves that in brief moments condemn days of agonized wankery.

I get enough of editing in my day job, so this torture I inflict on myself is purely for your benefit, you understand. If you think this next book is shite, you should see what it was like before I edited it. But even now, I’m still laughing at the craziness of it. I’ve mentioned elsewhere that an anonymous reader at Hodder & Stoughton gave my agent feedback on it, saying “This is quite the funniest dystopian comedy I’ve read in a long time.” Well, let’s hope (s)he reads a lot of dystopian comedies, otherwise we’re fucked. Sometime soon, Fowl Play will be edging its way into your eyeline like one of those mythical beasts portending death and destruction but which, when you turn your head, looks like nothing more than a miniature schnauzer. But a miniature schnauzer with one eyebrow raised. He knows what you’ve been up to, and the day when he judges you is nigh.

Coming Soon!

15 Tuesday Mar 2016

Posted by jayspencergreen in Books, Humor

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Books, Humor, Ivy Feckett is Looking for Love, Monty Python

Book Number 2 is on its way: Ivy Feckett is Looking for Love: A Birmingham Romance. Don’t Miss It!

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Novelist and Ne'er-do-well. Dry English wit a specialty.

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